Sunday, September 23, 2007

I Wanna be a Black Russian...Kassel and Mortensen...Serve Up Stalwart Homo-Erotic in New Cronenberg Film





I Want To Be a Black Russian!!!

From

"Anderson Cooper Kissed Me!

Hi Anderson, I just got back from seeing "Eastern Promises." It was incredibly powerful. Can you spell Oscar, Viggo? The films director, David Cronenburg made me even like Naomi Watts and that is no small feat. I have to ask you, dear
Anderson...if you have and/or when you see it...tell me if you found, as a gay man...The scenery gnashing and ever so studly French actor Vincent Kassel's Mafiosa heir, who is both a titillating-tortured-homo and a sociopath...just like my ex-boyfriend! But tell was this movie penetratingly homo-erotic? OOPS was that a Freudian slip? At one point Kassel and Viggo get so close to kissing that I thought the screen was going to burst into flames, or I that I would. Both of them with those testosterone-seared-voices, those pheromones and vodka, sweat flowing glistening rivers down their pouting, chiseled cheeks...and their mouths so close to each other constantly threatening and challenging....I was just waiting for one of them to lick the words out of the others mouth...phew... I don't care if you are gay or straight or from Batavia...that scene in the sleazy Russian Steam Bath in that even seamier dank London neighborhood...there Viggo's character... naked as a link sausage, beats off…I mean… fights off… two unruly Chechnyan assassins, with his pumped and inked body dripping blood and sweat, dodging sharp thrusts, slipping over and on top of big muscly, terminator dudes.... his "Don Johnson" flapping like a Boars Head Bologna. He lays on top of one of the fully clad, scary assassin guys splayed crotch to crotch with him, writhing with the fighting frottage motor running full throttle...me I'm writhing in my seat like I am dancing with Clive Owen at a Basement party...Oh Viggo---sorry Anderson but he's got you over a long shot in this movie...But Wait...theres more...Better yet this all takes place on a wet floor in a steam room--no steam room in the annals of gay history had anything so hot going on...the stabbing of the guy in the eye was pretty much "Look the other way" material but back to the floor...its all evaporated steam as (Viggo) savagely, defends himself against those two burly, leather clad killer stud muffins with their curved, assassins blades...baby...slip, and slide me some of that...the imagery I mean...knives, butts...the murder in the steam bath things I could live without....but as with all homo-themed stories- Vincent Kassel and Mortensen never get to suck face---always the damn queers and their unrequitedness...Viggos one really good kiss goes to the little blonde ever caring-waif Naomi Watts...duh-I thought how hot it would have been if his love interest had beenThandie Newton? But it is Watts who gets to pucker close to our beloved and cool and crisp Aragorn.

Anderson, I know that you know what a good kiss is (wink)...and I shiver with antici------------------pation…. until the next one and I am vetted in my dream of our (wink) movie version having as much palpable tension as the incredibly intense, dangerous, male sensuality within which Mr. Kronenburg imbued his powerful film...somewhere on a Canadian cutting room floor…Mr. Kronenburg is from up there… is that kiss between Vincent Kassel and Viggo...I can wish can’t I?..I saw it happening....DAMN!! I may be but a foolish dreamer but I don’t care...We all love rough trade---You have your boriqua boy-flesh and well the ‘thug’ thing is everywhere (Wink)--I guess it depends on whether or not you like your Russians Black, White or brown… inked and on the rocks with a clef in the chin-It makes no never mind...just as long as they can’t say “peripatetic” and form complete sentences…for most that might scintillate. For me they best be able to make a good cocktail. Now that’s a good drink.

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