Senator Potato Head: Fear and Self-loathing in His Own Private Idaho

Hi Anderson, I have been busy and wanted to wait a few days to listen to my girls on Air America toss Larry Craig-itus around...I hit the jackpot today...Rachel Maddow, Stephanie Miller, Randi Rhodes...they all romped all over it...The Neo-cons are all holding their noses saying "Eeeeew-gay sex in airports...I know Anderson that you, as a gay man have never had to...nor wanted to spank a monkey or slurp on a silly straw in a public potty--but hey all us 40 something gay men saw and quietly nodded our heads when watching "Prick Up Your Ears"...Gary Oldman as the promiscuous playwright Joe Orton...well anyway Anderson it can be kind of exciting...but especially so when excitement for all those conservatives is a mutated form of indignation...one of their own gets caught...how many married men cruise rest area's with car seats in the back of their Escalades and Lincoln Town Cars...fondle and grope and tap their feet to imply their readiness to orally pleasure and peer through Crevices...living in a world where we are forced to do so...Andrew Solomon, in his biblically dense atlas on depression "The Noonday Demon" speaks readily of internalized homophobia...I mean who knows why Owen Wilson tried to kill himself...but for sure Larry Craig's breeder-minded macho stances and rabid attacks against...anything remotely suggestive of lightness in loafers and raining on parades is obviously, without having to take Internalized Homophobia 101 to understand...gets that the only place that's left to partake in the expression of sexuality between men who hate themselves with other men who hate themselves should be in places where men are definitely going to be and have their hand on their Oscar Meyer...in a stall or at a urinal! where one is sure to find a man with his stoicism in his hand...and thereby must perpetuate that sole perversion of the soul by having taboo sex in taboo places....duh...Even gay men look down upon other gay men...especially the ones who are more feminine, who yield to other men....they are less-than...well, the men who pretend they don't want to be yielded unto. It's like inter-race racism...the light skinned slaves got to be in the warm house closer to massah...hello?!! resent will ensue....Mitt might resent Larry cause he almost got some....anyway the slaves...so Massah like to keep his house on the lighter side...so the children he fathered we more Chai than Mocha...more Oatmeal than Brownie...his Euro-spermanations hastened by his MR. WIGGLIES and whatever poor African Goddess whom had to bear not only his violence and disregard but who had to watch her children be torn away from her and... (ANDERSON IS THIS GETTING HEAVY?) lets just say the house slaves were hated by the field slaves...Spike Lee made a musical "School Daze" about this inter-race racism...which, just like jazz was created in and for America!!It just wouldn't be home without it...I digress...so we come back to the antics of yet again more of the same types of men (GWM) who created the little slave issue I just got through talking about...SO Today on Rachel Maddow some guy from Idaho (what is the last syllable of this state...?) Family values was agitating me and made Maddow giggle...I wanted to finish him... I digress...before all the Value-family packagers could slurp on their Anita Bryant sippy cups-they are asking Craig to step down because as Mitt Romney said the other day of Craigs desire for man flesh-"Its Disgusting..." no Mitt honey---you are disgusting-what choices does Larry Craig, the man-flesher have?--I mean I am currently living like an ascetic monk...but Craig is out there man he's doing it....he's lied, contradicted and hey he really has proven to be ...I'm gonna swallow with pride here cause he has done this better than anybody because he...he....he got caught...the guy is a hypocrite...yup...they are a rare birdie hypocrites but Craig is for sure one of 'em...I'd stake my life on it...his entire being and existence in pure unalderated hypocrisy...all men are pigs mind you and I am a man who knows....Larry Craig just happened to, by his airporty actions shout it out a little louder than most and at a rather in appropriate place...the cause is what is so relevant here Anderson not the effects....it's not okay to be gay...somebody has to be hated in this country and you are talking to a gay, black buddhist....hey whats not to hate...at least I have turned a big corner in my racing-forward-like-a bullet midlife---that so many people even in my own family are afraid of me...sometimes even their afraid not to show that they are afraid to show that they are terrified of me---hell I was terrified of myself up until about a week ago.... and I in turn hated myself (funny how that works)...I have had sex in toilets...both with myself and other people even....all across the globe I have...I don't need to anymore though( Or perhaps that rest area one over on route 1-5) I mean what shoes should I wear? They say Craig tapped his foot which suggests that means that he was soliciting sex...( I saw that in a porn movie once...there was no sound back then 8mm) I would have to believe him. The only gay sex that he could find...and I know this for a fact... would be if that plain clothes cop was wearing Prada Shoes and Marc Jacobs slacks...anyhoo...when I did the toilet cruising thing Anderson it was for kicks...I was out-(of the closet) always have been...but where my life intersects with Sen. Larry Craig's is where it diverges...I never ever hated myself so much that I would make it my life mission to have the rest of the world hate homosexuals as much as I hate myself because I am a homosexual(did you get that?) No Anderson I am not Blond! Craig...he is a Shakespearean Tragedy and I am Shakespearean Comedy..I'm more like "The Merry Wives of Windsor" or hermetic like Jacques in "As You Like It"...The Great White Man Larry Craig though is emblematic of what will continue to go on in this country...hypocrisy and short term memory loss...depression and ESPN....Michael Vick talk a bout what a shame locking him up...so sweet and he so apologized really really rough call there with him...bad thing with the dogs...dumb dumb dumb...such a beautiful man...the dichotomy makes me want to barf...(like the picture I have here of Larry Craig...doesn't he look like he is so going to hurl? Anderson, look out!....lol...lol....I"m just joking Anderson...But it is all about Neo-cons and ....legislators and whores and Alberto our fave...celeb Lawyer...as far as many are concerned...Larry Craig is disgusting and is in good company....as far as Mitt is concerned...well Mitt you have a full head of hair and I think that is disgusting...Brigham Young had 120 people massacred in the 19th century(bad Mormons, bad Mormons)...Mit, how different are you? Good night Anderson...kissies

Alberto Gonzales and the Watercress Tamale

Omigod! Anderson are you awake! I am up early but Anderson wake the ***k up! ALBERTO GONZLAES finally ate his own law and order enchilada!...I apologize to any and all Latinos for that, it just came out...truth be told though he is first and foremost a slimy, morose, dirt bag lawyer- who in, representing the highest position of legal jurisconsult in the nation, lied. He chose to align himself with that already rabid pack of hooty eyed hyena's, headed by cheap "under the door sniffer" Karl Rove, who also resigned last week-halle-lOOOOOjah!--Hey hello!? Don't people get that there is this natural- revving up of universal righteousness jack hammers readying for the hardcore battering ram called---cause and effect and thereby the implosion of this rather "teetering like Pisa" administration--how many felon's liars and power mongers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Quite frankly I don't know but I do know this Anderson---the resignations and the house cleaning over at Pennsylvania Avenue is going to continue until Mr. Mission Accomplished-rids himself of all his riff-raff---he knows most people are too busy being poor and getting kicked out of their homes to care and that Americans have short-term memory loss like Dorey- the little blue fish in Finding Nemo- well at least she could talk whale and saved Marlin and herself from an apparently imminently fatal situation...but gee whillikers---Alberto just done gone on and messed up the Justice Department and well better he's gone sooner than later---its all about the DECONSTRUCTION OF GEORGE W--I just want to see Dick (The Shooter) Cheney get in a teeensy weensey bit of trouble---his slides through every loop hole like a social worker on crack--Just tell them Anderson.....tell the children that the gilded choo choo is off the track ---talk about a jaundiced administration....Anderson? I am going to go walk the dog-but when I get back I want you to have readied a response to this immensely joyous and thereby nurturing fodder for us lefty-pee-o'd buck-fusher's----oh yeah I am looking to hear Air America this A.M.!!!! Gonzales ate the watercress tamale. Buh Bye...BERT....I wish you could have gotten impeached but resigning works too, right Anderson?...I love you Anderson....

INTERVIEW WITH A BGM

“Life is a GREAT WHITE MAN …old chum…”Part I

Dear Anderson,

As you know I have returned home to Rochester, NY. I wish you were here with me but I know that your partner would not permit it. I wish you weren’t so emblematic of the Great White Male…As a young Black MO-HO (That’s homo backwards) who comes from a dysfunctional family*

*I know that word is certain to bother you and I suppose those of us who know what it means only banter it about because we are privileged enough to have gone through therapy (years and years and years of it) to know that to understand dysfunction is to understand the true meaning of the entity of all living beings…in other words…we have time enough to plod through our life trajectories and arrive in our forties and go “ Oh god I am so passive aggressive and I used drugs and drank too much when I was trying to have a career and now I am all alone with my four dogs, 3 cats and my ferret, Chewbaca…I must have had a father that fought in the Big War and got his MBA from Harvard on the GI Bill and then ignored me until he smiled when he made CFO of the largest bank in the continental United States and sort of publicly thanked his family which shortly therafter about to be split into fifths…he didn’t share much until he lay in his death bed and like the good ole boy he thought he must be said “ I ‘m sorry I was such a bad father.” And then I say: “Oh no you were the bestest father I never had…and I hate you. But…but…but I love you….” The sobbing leads to drooling all over his crisp hospital linens and he looks at the catheter in his arm and then his lower lip quivers and I have to truly love this man who ignored me as a child and made me love Harry Chapin…’cause I grown up just like him….he who never learned to cry and left my mom for a younger woman exacerbating her depression and poorly timed attempted suicide caused by her plummeting to the depths of the abyss-low self esteem and alcohol induced dementia…but I have to love him…I have to…his lip gives way to real live tears…I can see them…he shoots his eyes up at me as my drool just misses his wrist with the shunt in it….he mutters something with a vibrato induced by his lip quiver and then his raises him arms towards me for me to enter into them…..like the lowering of the gate to his castle over the mote I traipse and I collapse on his chest in a gooey glob of a conundrum like puddle of misdirected affection…in the end it is affection nonetheless…no, its love.

You know love Anderson like my love for you…I will get to crux of the Ballade of the Great White Male…To be continued….

I am a 25 y.o. 45 y.o. I just finished graduate school at Smith College (MFA Playwriting). Yes they have co-ed Grad Programs...I also taught there as I was attending there...Women saved me from myself...white women will rule the world...if my black sisters don;t beat 'em to it....and Hillary doesn't scare me...although Barack is where I am headed. I think we should avoid, in the next prez election, spending an iota of time thinking about what we don't want...I am certain that that is why 'W' is in that Haus de Blanco...we spent our energies on what we didn't want...MISTAKE...yes America is ready for a Black president...stop worrying about the red states and work on what you want...We are all responsible for the knuckleheads being where they are...lets just take responsibility to change how we go about it next time...that is if there isn't a run on the bank and the tumult and unease, tornadoes, bridges collapsing, flooding, fires, famine, people throwing gasoline on innocent 5 year olds and setting them on fire in Iraq...that is what Iraq has become... the latter...and who brought that on? We did kids...no guilt just...well...check out CNN.com...just revolutionize your own life...and follow your heart...then help others do the same.

A sigh is just a sigh...

Oh Anderson, Anderson, Anderson...could I just call you Andy? Or how about just plain "And?"

However, wherever, whenever...you can yube my tube...ahem...I am so sorry...I have to admit I have only used your name to attempt to draw in the curious and the intolerably innane...people like myself. But I do envy you....you are a ferociously tenacious journalist...you have a piercing intellect...frosty azure eyes and although I am certain you are my junior...your silvery hair and Westchester cool make me want to shout " Speak to me Daddy...cause I don't like talk no how!" Oh Misbehave...

I am sure I will get my "blogiosity" on as I shall pursueth with equanimity and candor an opportunity to dissect, dissuade, obfuscate and prioritize my worldview. You inspire in me a hushed fervor that has guided this impoverished (dare I say...Artist?) blogger to correlate a prescience and forthrightness that I know will hopefully one day have me shout...(see blog title). You are my Bob Brady...my Anthony Nelson and Major Healy....my Professor my Maryann...my Christine Amanpour...Here on Anderson Isle!


Let the Blogging begin....